But He doesn't, at the same time. After all, He required sacrifices and purification to get all that human "us" off of us so we could approach Him. It was still too much. We couldn't reach Him.
So He sacrificed Himself to keep all that human "us" off of us so that we could live in relationship with Him. I refuse to believe that He no longer wants more from me, even if He's willing to wait.
I remember being in Africa and watching Johnna mourn the banana trees in the backyard being cut down, machete-slashed down to the dirt, leaving only roots. "They grow more beautiful over time" she said "but they won't produce fruit anymore."
I could spend all my life "growing more beautiful". Spit polish my faith. Get in shape and finally learn a thing or two about fashion. Read all the self-theologizing books. Develop a children's and youth and women's ministry approach. Find my rhythm as a mom, wife, and foodie. Decide what I will do when I grow up and pour myself into it.
I could dedicate myself to developing a life that is absolutely breathtaking in its commitment to good things. But if I never submitted myself to His instruction and changes, it wouldn't matter. I'd be a lovely banana tree that can't produce fruit because all of its energy and nutrition goes into maintaining its appearance.
I don't want that. I'd rather be a puny looking thing that has to draw heavily on the nourishment of plain old dirt to even get one leaf out. I'd rather aim for fruit. I'm okay if I'm not impressive. I'll willingly accept the required cutting down to the root, back to square one to hash out this whole stretching up process all over again, if that means God is the one doing the work.
Because me on my own might be redeemed for a purpose, but He has to be the one to decide what that is. I might have value myself, but it's nothing compared to what I am worth when I let Him work. My best job is to be His instrument.
May I be so broken and weak that I have no choice but to rely on His transformation to do what may appear to some to be the most basic of growing processes. May I always have tender new growth that hurts a little to push further but leads to more harvest for my King.